Our attention span is affecting our connection with people.

We are turning into animation characters from a game that is being control by someone and that is our phone. We can't get rid of them because there is many benefits but one of the major issues is our lack in connection with people and communicating on a deeper level. Simple things now trigger us and make us feel worthless and not valued enough. 

Are we becoming robots ourselves? 

Parents are trying to find ways to adhere to this generational jump of technology. There is always this reflection of 'back in my day we went outside' in comparison to the latest trends and TikTok dances. There is a dynamic comparison that this younger generation is missing out on the appreciation and gratitude towards whats around them, life. Especially with the rise of mental health cases. They say the easy way out is to just get rid of it completely but thats not the answer. We have to force ourselves to create boundaries and healthy habits. These can start small and work towards finding the correct balance for both. 

When we are in our scrolling hall of social media and someone walks past, we miss to their true emotions. Their body language, facial expressions, a simple eyebrow reaction, muttering to themselves or snappy moments. We miss the build up that has been caused whilst you are staring at your phone. Or worst case a signal that could cost their life. 

It's a scary thought and thats why it needs to be address because our attention span is reducing and we are becoming less invested in getting to know someone for who they are and what they are truly feeling. It comes down to resetting the button and creating those habits that can benefit your relationship with your child, partner and even yourself. 

Here is a prime example of your attention span, did you just watch the video to get some tips and then didn't bother to read the rest to find out more? 

We are condition to grab little snippets that serve us and forget the rest. Its part of technology growing and expanding our minds in different ways, doesn't mean we need to give up on our relationship with humans. 

Here are some helpful tips that can help you build that stronger connection with yourself and someone else: 

1. Where is your phone placed before you sleep? This is a major habit we have conditioned ourselves to allow into our routines and this can even impact on our sleep. If you need it to wake up, get an alarm clock. Put your phone in another room so it is completely away from you. This can be done! 
   
   
2. Stimulated by a notification? There is a do not disturb button use it whilst you are having important meetings, coffee catch ups, date and family time. 
   
   
3. STOP putting it on the table. This is a clear indication that the person in front of you is less valuable than your phone. It can wait. If someone is persisting, unless in a case of an emergency they need to learn boundaries and respect when a time is right. 
   
   
4. You do not need to answer every phone call or message right away. It is your second source of connection. If you have a child at school, wait until they get home to talk to them face to face. Stop having a relationship through text. Unless it is an important issue or urgency to make sure they are safe. 
   
   
5. Take a break. Switch it off for a weekend. You will notice once you are committed to it how much you constantly use it to check for a notification or to receive updates. Once it's off, it's off and it can be done once you decide to turn it back on. I can guarantee you won't want to turn it on by Monday because your mind was more at ease. Take this time to spend quality time with your family. If they are on their phones get them to be a part of it or find some you time and indulge in what the world has to offer. Doesn't mean you go binge watch Netflix shows. All technology needs a break. If its too much just take baby steps but don't do 2 hours and celebrate. 
   
   
6. When you are talking to someone give them eye contract, tell them you are really listening and see how they react when you are truly there for them. They will really appreciate you making the effort for them. Notice your body language when you are listening, are you closed off with arms crossed or are you being open physically to receive their words? Our Non verbal cues also add to the equation.
   
   
7. Be present in the moment. So many of us spend a lot of our times capturing the moment by photos, videos, instagram stories etc. It is actually sad when people have to remind guests at a wedding to not post anything up or please be respectful for the bride and groom and put your phones away. Why aren't we accepting that this is their day and their moment. You don't see them holding a phone for when they walk down the aisle. Of course take and capture photos for memories but there is a time where we don't have to. You don't have to film the whole concert of your favourite artist. You can pick moments and snippets that you truly want to remember but you got the ticket to see them live in person, you can watch them sing online, so you don't need to capture the whole concert. You know that you were there and that experience is worth being present rather then spending another 2 hours recording it and watching it once and then it just sits in your camera roll.

It can be possible, you just need to be actively trying to help grow your connection with those around you. 

"Accept yourself first before you learn how to love". 
Katelin Vincent 
Founder of You Go Girlfriend